I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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