I want to walk on stilts...naked
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
don't judge my taste in strippers
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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