i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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