This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
