I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
