I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
