Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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