I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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