I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
