he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
