please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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