Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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