I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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