let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize