weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
