so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
