He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Vodka?
Forever.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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