I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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