It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize