plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize