I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
