I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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