your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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