so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she told me i tasted like america
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
