Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
