just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
