walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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