I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
