the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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