i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
