Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
