My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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