So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize