we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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