Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize
