was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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