You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
