never play flip cup with pint glasses
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
All the doctor said was why
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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