Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
