it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
