I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize