smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
