No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
