some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
