you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
