They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
