hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
