I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Randomize