farters have to be the big spoon...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
