i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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