On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
