I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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