we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
