I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
