brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
