I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
