It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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