Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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