So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
