Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
