Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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