It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize