Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
