can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
